What in heck does the P-word mean?
British tabloids amuse me to little end. If you want to be amused, too, look at this article. Or just read my choice excerpts (emphasis is mine):

MP David Simpson has demanded to know how many paedophiles are living in the Banbridge district. ... The issue was raised recently at a meeting of Banbridge District Policing Partnership when a member of the public asked local police chief Christine McCullough how many paedophiles were living in the district amid growing concerns that more are being moved into the area. ... Experts claim 80 per cent of sexual offences go unreported, meaning it is almost impossible to gauge how many paedophiles are at large in the district. ... Mr Simpson has tabled a question at Westminster asking the Secretary of State to declare exactly how many paedophiles are living in each council area. "These are disturbing findings and made all the more so by the fact that the general public hasn't any idea of where these people are," said Mr Simpson.
It is important to remember that not all sex offenders are paedophiles and indeed not all paedophiles are sex offenders. The correct definition of a paedophile is someone whose sexual fantasies and erotic imagery focus on pre-pubertal children. A child sex offender is an individual who engages in illegal sexual activity with children. So paedophiles only become sex offenders when they commit a crime.

It's almost as if the newspaper is mocking poor Simpson, except there is no way they're that smart.